Intimate without intimacy...

Watching 'Bones' tonight, I thought about the kind of relationship that Booth and Bones have. It is one where they are close emotionally, yet don't have that physical closeness that you see in most other television shows. The two of them offset and complete each other, with their knowledge and idiosyncrasies. They have a relationship that any of us should be or are jealous of. Intimate in the sense that they know each other so well that they could finish each others sentences, and not NEEDING that physical intimacy to fuel the relationship. That is something that I want... a relationship that is based on friendship, not based on physical feelings and reactions. I want to be able to spend hours and hours with someone and be able to talk forever, about anything and everything. That is what I want. And though I haven't found that yet, I am waiting(trying to be patient) and watching for him.

Too many Horrors!!!

Is it bad when you start to imagine your everyday life as a horror movie? Not in the sense that you hate your job or this and that... but think about what would happen to so-and-so if this was a horror movie. Or when some conversations turn to ''How would it feel if this happened?'' and you think not in just that psychological thriller way that keeps you in suspense, but the Saw IV way. The blood, guts, and gore. These little things fascinate and infuriate me... like a book about a serial killer who will pull out about 2 or 3 feet of intestine from a 2 inch incision right below their victim's belly button. Or a kidnapper who will drip acid onto their victim just for thrills. I read these books and watch these movies because I enjoy them, yes, but also because I like to figure out who or what is behind the violent acts... because I like to figure out the mystery. Why do these people do what they do? What or who made their minds so messed up that they find a thrill or pleasure in hurting other people. I want to get inside their heads and find a way that will help them solve their problems... and in that way help save the people who would be their victims. I still wonder sometimes if I read too many thrillers... or watch too many horrors.

happiness...

What is happiness? To me it is satisfaction in the life we lead... enjoying the little things... taking time from this busy life we lead to sit and listen, look, think. Not think about everything we have to do today, but about what we love in life. To be thankful for the good things that we have in our lives. For example, that could be sunshine peeking out of the clouds and lighting up the earth, a summer midnight thunderstorm that clears the air, talking with someone and knowing that you can just be yourself, a lone flower growing in the most unexpected place. Even in the midst of our busy and sometimes 'everything-goes-wrong' lives, there are little things that are around us that can make us smile and remember to take a deep breath. We don't need everything in our lives to go just so to be happy, we just have to watch for those things and enjoy them when they are there.

Beautiful people...

Well... I was not voted as a "beautiful person." How tragic.... I figured that I would not get voted, because I am not the world's standard of "drop-dead gorgeous." I thank God that I don't need the world's approval of my looks to be happy. I am satisfied with myself the way I am and feel sorry for those who do need that approval. They may have a very unhappy life. Now I must go and find something else to blog about. :P Auf Wiedersehen.

Burning tears...

On Saturday September 27th, I heard the most wretched news. My friend, Emily, was dead. I didn't want to believe it... It couldn't be. I just talked to her the night before. The rest of the night was spent in tears... why? how? it's not fair... ran through my mind. I was right, it wasn't fair, but life so often isn't. I was mad... at her attacker... at God.. Why didn't HE protect her? He could have, so why didn't he? I was so distraught that I didn't listen for an answer. If I had, I would have heard what I know now. "My ways are not your ways." I do not know why God allowed this to happen, and I am extremely sad that this happened to Emily.. especially since she was so young and so ambitious. I am sure that if she had lived longer, she would have been amazing. Emily was a talented and loving young woman and she would have become even more so as she got older. Emily was a beautiful person inside and out.

Esta e' seere, Emily. We love you.

it's finally here...

well... the time has come for me to say goodbye. to textbooks of math, physics, chemistry, and all those despised subjects. I must say that it is not a fond farewell. I must also bid adieu to the subjects I enjoyed. I will no longer be officially learning them. Now I will put them to use in my daily life and in that way, learn more. I am definitely happy do be done, but it is also frightening. The next years are not mapped out for me. I have to decide what to do with them. I don't have the security of knowing what I'm doing in fall, or for the next few years. I can assume that I will be working, but we never really know what will happen... and that scares me. But I will make the best of each day and move on towards the end.

Disgusted...

So... there is this new website called beautifulpeople.net. It has a strict ban on "ugliness." People are supposed to submit a picture of themselves and then will be up for judgment on if they are pretty enough. Yet another way for society to make those to are of "below average" beauty, feel bad about themselves and others to feel special... elite. To see what the standard of "pretty" is, I have signed up. I am certainly not the most beautiful person, so we will see how I am rated. I will update as the voting progresses.

Musical...

So I went to Singin' In The Rain put on by Regina Christian School... I must say it was very well done. This musical is my absolute favorite. RCS did a wonderful job recreating the magic from the screen on the stage. My favorite part was when 'Cosmo' sang 'Make Them Laugh' and the 'Moses Supposes' bit. I loved the whole performance. Everyone did an amazing job and I loved each and every scene. <3

It's been a while...

what to tell you.... what to tell you.... Hmmm... I walked out of my restaurant job, got a new one at a grocery store, the Saskatchewan roughriders won the GREYCUP for the first time in 18 years, I had a poem published in a book, I started going to youth, went out of town for a weekend without my parents (I'm so lame), stopped going to youth, started going to a college and careers group, and have made new friends.


I am almost done with my last year of high school. I'm glad for it, too. It's not that I really hate learning, in fact I enjoy it(especially history), but it's been a long 12 years. I plan on working for a few years and then going back to school. Maybe for photography.

I am learning new things about God. I am participating in a study on Spiritual gifts. It is quite interesting to see how the descriptions of these gifts fit particular people... and learning what some of the ways that people have used their gifts and how we can develop and use these gifts in our daily lives.

Hugz from the Prairies!!!